A Visitors Guide to Iraq - Part 2

Getting Around

In Iraq, driving is not so much a means of transportation as an extreme sport.  To put things in context, the Iraqi driving test goes as follows:

1. Drive in a figure eight. 
2. Do it again, only backwards.
3. CONGRATULATIONS!

No, I'm not joking.

And you don't even have to turn up yourself, one of my aunts sat the test on behalf of my other aunt. And despite the fact that the instructor recognised her, and knew she'd been driving for over 16 years, she passed, or rather, her sister passed.  True story.

Driving rules and ettiquette

• It is only polite to squeeze as many cars as possible in the space available on the road.  No matter how wide (or narrow) the road, remember that wing mirrors are optional, and go ahead and squish yourself in there.
• The speed limit is set by the capabilities of your engine.  In other words, as fast as your fricking car will go.
• Overtaking and undertaking are considered perfectly valid means of getting exactly where you need to be.
• The car horn is not a means of expressing anger, merely a way of letting the guy pulling out in front of you know that you wish to be in the same place he is.
• When at a junction, pull out into fast moving traffic.  No indication of your intentions is required or desired.
• Manouvering in a traffic jam is a slow moving game of chicken.  Keep moving into the space you wish to occupy.  If another car (or cars) also have the same idea, keep going, only the strongest will survive.
• Driving the wrong way down a one way street is just fine (see also reversing on a motorway because you've missed your exit).
• It's just rude for any motorcycle or scooter to carry just one person.  At a minimum there should be a driver and one passenger.  For the most efficient use of this mode of transport, add at least two more passengers, including a child in the basket at the back.

In other words, the Stig has NOTHING on these guys.

And the roads are still better than those in Ireland.